Thursday, June 03, 2004

movie reviews - $0.02 worth.


I go through phases during which I'll see every single mainstream movie that's out there. I'm not a "movie buff" by any cinephile stretch of the imagination, far from it. If misfortune curses you into stumbling upon my blog, thus scoping this abysmal shallowness will help you cope.

enough self-loathing. my tastes in movies are better than yours. I'm cool. you're not.

A Day Without a Mexican

This movie totally ruled. Imagine: you live in southern california and you wake up one day, and all Mexicans have vanished! This movie depicts an eery tale of ensuing chaos which attempts to educate the viewer with a very healthy dose of comedy and drama. I think one of the main characters played bill paxton's wife in Twister. heh heh. ( "we got cow!". "oh-oh, another cow!". "no she did not *only* marry your p**is". Twister ruled. Paxton sucked balls though. ) Interestingly engouh, it would appear "A Day Without a Mexican" was shot in 16mm and blown to 35mm or something, I think that'd explain the somewhat "grainy" texture of the movie.

Van Helsing

Two words for you: Kate Beckinsale. She's so totally hot. She was also in "Underworld". Hot in there too. Actually, she can't really not be hot. Anyway, lots of action, some suspense, weird creatures, what else could you possibly want in a movie? I had loads of fun!

Raising Helen

Kate Hudson is hot. But man is this a chick-flick, but not really the enjoyable kind, like "Love, Actually". Compelling, touching story, but the movie seemed to drag. blech.

Mean Girls

Was mostly funny, Lindsay Lohan is an eye-candy, otherwise ... bleah.

Soul Plane

Sucked. While I had great expectations from the previews, most of the movie felt overdone, exact same deal as Scary Movie 3. In both those movies, a good chunk of the comedic timing seemed off while clumsily-crafted gags kept digging themselves deeper in their unfunny grave. The previews pretty much showed everything that was actually funny. BLECH.


3 words for you: Helen of Troy. Oh my goodness. All women in this movie are simply beautiful, but Diane Kruger ... "Whoa". While some of the epic battles seemed blown out of proportions, they remained nonetheless impressive, some of the best on-screen sword-fighting i've seen in a while. I had a great time!

Shrek 2

Rules! Sure many will argue that the first Shrek brought a level of originality to the table which Shrek 2 may not have quite matched. I nonetheless found it to be hilarious and highly enjoyable. I recently watched the first Shrek DVD again, and it felt lower-tech compared to the new one, Shrek 2 has some mad animation mojo going-on there, you just don't pay attention to it while watching the first time! I can't wait to get Shrek 2 on DVD, there are many funny details I want to get back to.

The Day After Tomorrow

Awesome! You just can't walk into this type of "end of the world" movie and expect an intricate plot, deep character development, and world-class acting, for crying out loud, that's what "As good as it gets" was for. Half of humanity is about to get shafted in a major apocalyptic way, Mother Nature is pulling a fast one from left field and squashing you back down to the level of the insignificant bug that you are. And it did a great job at conveying just that, and nothing less. I've found visual effects to be simply breathtaking. I had a great time. I just wish they had thrown Bruce Willis and Liv Tyler in there. Not sure why.

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