Friday, June 25, 2004

Low-Speed Chase, Carson, Southern California

Google News Rules.

For so many reasons, Southern California rules.

We have police chases. Could you have police chases in New York? No way. There's traffic 24/7 there, clearly no place for a villain hungry for a motorized thrill ride. Plus, in New York, everybody's angry and out to kick your @ss. It wouldn't be long before our hapless villain would run into a mob of angry New Yorkers out to seek revenge on the perp who's raining on their daily commute, thereby spoiling Local News Station Fun.

Here, Local News Stations really do have fun. They'll cover a police chase live until the very end. It's quite comical to see the news anchors bouncing back and forth at one-another while coming-up with "filler" commentary during the entirety of the chase. They apparently covered this for one frickin' hour. "So Bob, did you have anything to add from your point of view over there in the chopper?". "Well Lisa, as you said ... [5 minutes rambling saying the exact same thing]". "Oh do I see a flat tire? *excitement* No, those are low-profile wheels *nevermind*".

So this guy drives around the same residential neighborhood, in circles, at whopping speeds of 15mph - 40mph, stops at many times, at some point tells a camera crew: "Mom I'm sorry, but I love You!".

A villain with class, taste, and flair would have taken us onto a joy ride along Highway 1 and driven off into the sunset. What did this guy do? Ran-off to Mommy before surrendering to a swarm of 20 cops politely hand-cuffing him, after having driven on his noble steed's rims for 10 minutes.

4 comments:

Michael Wriston said...

The closest we've had here in Pennsylvania to anything remotely close to a car chase happened about a month ago. An old Mexican man got drunk one day and stole a large tractor from a local farm. He drove the tractor down Maryland Route 64. Police and State Troopers arrived to stop him, but he rammed two of their cars and tried to run the chief of police over. They chased him down the road at a whopping 30 miles per hour before they finally shot his tires out, maced him, and dragged him off to prison.

I just wish stuff like that happened more often.

Chris Holland said...

* wiping tears * HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that made my night dude, thanks for relating this story :)

saidy said...

new yorkers shoot each other in subway cars. or they are pushing other people in the tracks. or they are jumping in the tracks to end the misery. not as much fun as the car chases though. unless you were there to actually see the gal/guy decapitated by the 4 train. or not be that witness of the shooter that "nobody" saw during rush hour. heh.

dponce80 said...

Po...lice cha... se? Here in Canada, I think the last time we heard of such a thing was in 1976... I don't think we EVER broadcast one on TV. So yeah... I'd like to live in CA. ;) At least you guys have something more than politics on TV...